Coping with Sensory Overload
It’s 5:32 pm. You’ve been up since… forever… and you’ve spent the entire day as a human comfort item while trying to find some peace among scattered toys, bottles, and laundry. Your little one has gone from content to hangry in 27 seconds, so you rush to feed them before the screaming gets worse. As you enter the kitchen, your pets get the wrong idea and start pestering you for their dinner. Your partner walks in and asks, “What’s for supper?"
Cue mom rage.
Sound familiar? If so, what you’re experiencing is sensory overload, and you’re definitely not alone.
The What and Why of Sensory Overload
Sensory overload—and the accompanying rage, panic, or overwhelm—happens to us throughout our entire lives. It occurs when one or more of our senses is overstimulated, taking in too much information for our brains to process.
Pre-parenthood, sensory overload wasn’t such a big deal. The benefits of time, quiet, and good sleep buffered the tension. But now, in postpartum and motherhood, we process all that input much differently.
The shift happens so fast, and the change is so dramatic, that we don’t have a chance to catch our breath. This is especially true as:
We have fewer opportunities to recharge.
We become the default parent, giving unlimited access to our bodies and energy.
We don’t have as much help from our support people.
We feel less accomplished as our to-do list grows.
The good news is we don’t have to be at the mercy of sensory overload.
8 Ways to Cope with Sensory Overload
#1 Know your triggers.
Certain sounds, sights, smells, or textures can trigger sensory overload easier than others. Knowing your triggers can help you avoid sensory overload by:
Allowing you to recognize early warning signs.
Paving the way for specific coping skills that will best address your triggers.
For example, if bright lights take your stress from 0-100, dim the lights or take a 30-second break in a dark room. Or if the demanding, simultaneous barks and squeals of hungry dogs and kids gets you wound up, move the pets’ dinner time to slightly before the rest of your family’s.
The next time you feel sensory overload coming on, stop and notice. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst part of this? If I could change one thing about this situation, what would it be?” Jot down your answers. In just a short time, you’ll be able to identify patterns and develop a deeper understanding of what sparks these tense moments.
#2 Create a routine.
An ever-changing routine doesn’t allow for the necessary time and planning it takes to effectively manage a high-sensory moment or activity. By creating a more predictable day-to-day, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to prepare for a potentially overwhelming scenario.
For example:
Kanisha has been home all day, taking care of her toddler. Her partner comes home and asks endless questions about her day, the kid’s day, the dinner plan, and whose turn it is to do the bedtime routine. With the near-constant noise that happens during the day, she can’t handle any more.
This week, she planned quiet, independent play for her toddler 30 minutes before her partner usually gets home. Now she feels more prepared to take on the transition.
#3 Schedule alone time.
First, have an open, honest conversation with your partner or other support person about how you’re feeling. You’re not broken or flawed for feeling overwhelmed, and it’s good to ask for what you need.
Then, schedule time that works for you to be totally by yourself—even if it’s just in another room. Making your alone time a non-negotiable on your schedule gives you something to look forward to. If the day’s been difficult or overwhelming, you know your alone time is coming.
Finally, be sure to set clear expectations so you’re not disturbed during this time. Nothing’s worse than looking forward to some peace and quiet, only to have it interrupted.
#4 Wake up before your family.
Admittedly, this can be a tough one if your little one isn’t sleeping through the night. But if you’re naturally an early riser, taking your alone time in the morning could help you start your day with confidence. Imagine sitting alone, with a still-warm cup of coffee, and a hot meal you can finish without sharing!
#5 Enjoy quiet time.
I know, I know: Quiet time seems completely unrealistic. It seems there’s no chance for respite from rowdy kids, noisy toys, and repetitious songs. There’s only so many times one human can listen to Frozen’s “Let it Go.”
Use these tips to create more quiet time in your home:
Introduce a couple new quiet activities or games for your kiddo.
Practice scheduled quiet time as a family.
Maximize the experience by dimming lights and avoiding your newsfeeds.
Offer a little screen time to your kids so you can take a break for yourself. (Seriously. That’s what Cocomelon is for.)
Remove batteries from that extra-noisy toy. Or just toss the thing!
#6 Draw boundaries.
You may be tempted to “push through,” telling yourself you’ll feel better when you’ve folded the laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and checked at least three tasks off your to-do list. Or you may be telling yourself to just “deal with” the sensory overload, because if you pause for even a moment of stillness, your household will surely fall apart.
The truth is, if you’re nearing your wit’s end (or you’re already there), nothing is more important than some quiet, restful, alone time. By creating boundaries that give you that opportunity, you’re creating a healthier, happier version of yourself that can better take on all the responsibilities of parenthood.
So, say no. Don’t overcommit. Don’t run from one chore to the next.
Learn more about setting and keeping healthy boundaries.
#7 Prioritize sleep.
There’s a biological reason we have worse, more stressful, sensory-overloaded days after a night of awful sleep. Without adequate rest, our brains default to our more primitive senses and reactions—which are actually heightened.
Of course, like quiet time, better sleep may also feel like a pipe dream. Try these practical tips to get the best sleep possible, even if it’s shorter than you’d like:
Be consistent with bedtimes and wake-ups every day.
Create a sleep-worthy environment: quiet, dark, and cool.
Skip screen time before bed, including TVs, computers, and phones.
Avoid large meals, caffeine, and alcohol before bedtime.
Add a short, outdoor walk every day to increase your physical activity.
#8 Get outside.
Speaking of outside, connecting with nature can make a huge difference. Time and time again, research has shown that being in nature decreases our stress, makes us happier, relieves attention fatigue, and more.
Nature walks are also fantastic activities for our kids. They may be so mesmerized by the world around them that they’re totally (or nearly) silent for the entire walk. Or you can take the time to tune into your senses in a calm, controlled way. Try taking a stroll with your little one and describe everything you hear, see, touch, and smell as you walk.
Sensory overload is just one among many motherhood struggles.
That’s why I created the Managing Overstimulation in Motherhood Workshop. After taking the workshop you’ll be able to:
✔︎ Understand why you get so overstimulated
✔︎ Recognize the factors that make you more prone to overstimulation
✔︎ Make simple changes to your environment that can be helpful
✔︎ Learn skills to help calm your senses
✔︎ Understand transitions and the role they play
✔︎ Personalize your own Overstimulation Plan
Sources
Braaten, E. (2020, October 22). What Is Sensory Overload? Understood. https://www.understood.org/en/learning-thinking-differences/child-learning-disabilities/sensory-processing-issues/what-is-sensory-overload.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2016, July 15). Sleep Hygiene Tips. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/sleep_hygiene.html.
Suttie, J. (2016, March 2). How Nature Can Make You Kinder, Happier, and More Creative. Greater Good. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_nature_makes_you_kinder_happier_more_creative.