Feeding Choices, Mental Health, and Motherhood
One of the first big decisions we have to make as parents is how to feed our newborns.
Breastfeeding.
Exclusively pumping.
Formula feeding.
Any combo of the above.
Plenty of people make this decision based on how they were fed as babies. Or, we take into consideration the messages we get from those around us about what’s “best.”
But what we often overlook is how our feeding choices might impact our mental health. And it’s time we talked about it.
Does Breastfeeding Prevent Postpartum Depression?
This is basically the question people wonder about regarding feeding and maternal mental health. Breastfeeding advocates often tout the positive mental health outcomes associated with breastfeeding. But it’s important to know the jury is still out on this one.
Most systematic reviews–studies that look at and report on the results of a whole bunch of related studies–find mixed results. One meta-analysis found that while most studies show breastfeeding is associated with fewer depressive and anxiety-related symptoms for the birthing parent, other studies show the opposite. Some studies show no relationship at all.
How Breastfeeding May Affect Mental Health
#1 The Decision Itself
Sometimes, the decision of how to feed our little ones is the most stressful part of the process. With two seemingly opposing crowds–the “Breast is Best” versus the “Fed is Best” camps–the whole process feels heavy and ultra-stigmatized. Regardless of what we pick, we feel like we’ll be judged by someone.
And with a lack of conclusive, evidence-based, unbiased, interdisciplinary information out there, it can be hard to know what’s best for our family. This can lead to self-doubt and anxiety, setting the stage for other mental health challenges throughout pregnancy and postpartum.
#2 Sleep
Another factor that heavily affects mental health is sleep, especially in those early days. If you’re exclusively breastfeeding or pumping, you’re likely running on much less sleep than your formula-feeding friends. Keeping up your supply with middle-of-the-night pump sessions is exhausting. And you’re often doing it all on your own as your partner sleeps soundly next to you. (Ugh.)
Research tells us that being sleep-deprived is a serious risk factor for perinatal and postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), like postpartum depression (PPD) and postpartum anxiety (PPA). It can also worsen these concerns if you already have them.
So, breastfeeding your new little one could put you at risk for these mental health issues due to a lack of restful and restorative sleep.
#3 Weaning
Weaning from breastfeeding can also impact your mental health. From a biological perspective, the changes in hormone levels as your milk production decreases can cause mood changes, including anxiety and depressive symptoms. From an emotional perspective, watching your baby grow up and tackle this new stage can bring up a profound sense of sadness and loss! These feelings are normal.
#4 Breastfeeding Challenges
Research is showing more and more often that breastfeeding challenges are a significant driver of mental health concerns in postpartum.
A significant myth about any feeding choice, but particularly breastfeeding, is that it’s easy or natural. That all moms should be able to do it without support because “we’re just made that way.”
But here’s the truth: Breastfeeding is a learned skill. And almost everyone experiences challenges while learning to feed their newborn.
But few people talk about those very real challenges we face in the early days. And the disconnect between what we expect (based on what we’ve been told) and what actually happens can cause significant emotional and psychological distress.
Research proves it. A 2014 study showed that parents who wanted to breastfeed but weren’t able to had the highest rates of PPD among their participants.
Ultimately, the way we choose to feed our babies is best seen as a moderator—increasing or decreasing our likelihood of developing a postpartum mental health concern depending on these personal factors.
So, what’s a new mom to do?
First, choose what feels best for you. There is no right or wrong way to feed your child. And, regardless of what method you choose, there are some extra tips and tricks you might need along the way to make the most of your feeding choices.
6 Ways to Protect Your Mental Health, Regardless of Your Feeding Choices
#1 Practice value-driven parenting.
One way to protect your mental health is to parent according to your own values.
Values are the fundamental and foundational bricks on which we build a meaningful life. These values, and how we prioritize them, are totally different from person to person. And no one way is wrong!
For example, if you value rest you might be more prone to bottle or formula feeding so your partner can help during those middle-of-the-night wakings. If you want to breastfeed but value going back to work ASAP, you might explore exclusively pumping.
No way is wrong. Feed according to what feels best for you, whatever aligns with your personal values!
#2 Stop shoulding.
Depending on the feeding choice you make, you might start to feel guilt and shame. Both are rooted in what we think we should be doing. And these shoulds are often tied to those unreasonable, unrealistic, super-high standards we set for ourselves. This could sound like:
I should be grateful for my body.
I should have tried harder/longer to breastfeed.
I should have switched to formula sooner.
I shouldn’t be having such a hard time with this.
If this is you, take a breath. Then, reframe! Try these mantras instead:
I can be grateful and frustrated at the same time.
I gave it my all, and that’s good enough.
I make decisions as new information presents itself to me.
I’m allowed to have a hard time. This is new to me!
Feel the difference?
#3 Filter your social media.
Some of the most damaging shoulds come from our social media feeds. That’s often because we see everything we’re not–supermoms who are having no trouble at all feeding their little ones all while tackling the other responsibilities of motherhood with grace and patience.
But we often forget that we’re only seeing highlight reels. And when we start to compare our whole lives to someone else’s carefully curated snippets, we get down on ourselves.
So, unfollow those unhelpful accounts. Follow people that make you feel good about yourself and your feeding choices. You deserve it!
#4 Set great boundaries.
Feeding is a hot topic. And you’re likely going to get some questions about it. First and foremost, trust yourself. You’re making the best decision for you and your family right now. And that’s all you can ask of yourself.
Then, set great boundaries with those who do choose to ask about your feeding choices. Sometimes, it’s easiest to have a set script for when these questions come up. A couple of go-to phrases can make you feel confident in your responses, whether you’re experiencing questions from curious family members or pushy medical providers.
Try phrases like these to get you started:
I’m not comfortable discussing that with you.
I’m confident in the choice I’ve made.
This works best for us!
#5 Practice real self care.
Regardless of your feeding choices, you need (and deserve) some extra TLC in your postpartum phase–which is forever BTW! And while some self-care might look like bubble baths and shopping sprees, it’s also important to incorporate enduring self-care into our daily practices. By taking care of our well-being from a sustainable, holistic perspective, we’re setting ourselves up for success in the long term.
#6 Get support.
From your OB/GYN, to lactation consultants, to mental health therapists, to other moms, you have a wide network of support to lean on. And if any of those folks aren’t supportive of your choice, kick them to the curb (seriously). You deserve unwavering and non-judgmental support, especially when it comes to these hard decisions.
If you’re looking for a therapist, check out Postpartum Support International’s directory to find one near you!
You’re doing amazing.
This phase of life is hard. Don’t let it rob your joy. Check out my online course, Keeping Mommy in Mind. Here, you’ll learn key strategies to help you navigate your transition to motherhood with confidence. Find it here!
Sources and Additional Reading
Borra, C., Iacovou, M., & Sevilla, A. (2014). New evidence on breastfeeding and postpartum depression: The importance of understanding women’s intentions. Maternal and Child Health Journal, 19(4), 897–907. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10995-014-1591-z
Rivi, V., Petrilli, G., & Blom, J. M. (2020). Mind the mother when considering breastfeeding. Frontiers in Global Women's Health, 1. https://doi.org/10.3389/fgwh.2020.00003
Yuen, M., Hall, O. J., Masters, G. A., Nephew, B. C., Carr, C., Leung, K., Griffen, A., McIntyre, L., Byatt, N., & Moore Simas, T. A. (2022). The effects of breastfeeding on Maternal Mental Health: A systematic review. Journal of Women's Health, 31(6), 787–807. https://doi.org/10.1089/jwh.2021.0504
