The Motherhood Penalty (and How to Avoid It)

For women, having children is one of the riskiest things we can do.

After all, everything changes when we become parents. Our bodies, minds, routines, finances, relationships, and careers are all impacted by this tiny new human.

And when it comes to our careers, more changes than we might think.

In fact, there’s evidence that working moms are economically discriminated against in the workforce. This reality even has a name: The Motherhood Penalty.

What Is the Motherhood Penalty?

The Motherhood Penalty is a term coined by sociologists Michelle J. Budig and Dr. Paula England to explain the disadvantages mothers face in the workplace after having their children.

According to Budig and England, these disadvantages most often include decreases in pay, benefits, and perceived competence compared to their childless coworkers. Additional challenges come up in the hiring, evaluation, and promotion process.

I realize this might sound too wild to be true. After all, the 1978 Federal Pregnancy Discrimination Act prohibits discrimination based on pregnancy, childbirth, and related medical conditions.

Unfortunately, though, legislation has yet to eliminate pregnancy and parenting-related discrimination in the workplace. According to Business Insider, one law firm found that nearly 200 lawsuits were filed in 2021 by mothers who alleged discrimination by their employers.

Discrimination against mothers hasn’t gone anywhere, and sociologists continue to prove that, one study at a time.

For example, a Cornell University researcher sent fake resumes to hundreds of employers. They were identical, other than some applications had indications of involvement in the local parent-teacher association, indicating the fake applicant was a parent. Mothers were half as likely to be called back for an interview.

And it gets worse, friends.

The Cornell study also introduces us to the Motherhood Penalty’s counterbalance: The Fatherhood Bonus.

Explaining the Fatherhood Bonus

The Fatherhood Bonus is exactly what it sounds like. Fathers tend to experience increased wages, work responsibilities, and overall confidence from their peers and bosses after becoming fathers.

In the Cornell University study, applicants who were fathers were called back most often.

We can also see the Fatherhood Bonus in the wage gap between men and women. As reported by Inc., women get a 4% pay cut for each child they have, while men get an average 6% pay increase when they become fathers. These differences persisted even when controlling for experience, education, and hours worked.

So, this wage gap—and other discrepancies between men and women in the workplace—isn’t about productivity between mothers and fathers; it’s rooted in sexist, gendered stereotypes.

After becoming a parent, women are often seen as less dedicated to their jobs and therefore receive fewer opportunities. Men, on the other hand, are often seen as more responsible and in need of additional money to provide for their growing families.

Budig explains it this way: “Fatherhood is a valued characteristic of employers, signaling perhaps a greater work commitment, stability, and deservingness.”

TL; DR: Men generally benefit in the workplace from having children, but women are penalized for it.

Avoiding the Motherhood Penalty

While it’s ultimately up to large-scale policy and ideological changes to fully eliminate the Motherhood Penalty, there are some things we can do to continue to assert ourselves in professional spaces.

#1 Stay confident.

When we get passed up, we start to doubt ourselves. Remember it’s them, not you. Keep going, mama!

#2 Be honest about your responsibilities.

Parenting should be an equally shared responsibility. Both you and your partner need to bring your home life into work.

#3 Lean on your soft skills.

Moms are master supporters, motivators, and communicators. Use these skills to land the jobs you want (and deserve!).

#4 Negotiate for flexibility.

Negotiate for changes in hours, location, or duties as you need. Come in with a plan and suggest a trial period.

#5 Reduce childcare costs.

Use flexible spending accounts, childcare shares, and creative parental leave utilization to maximize your childcare savings.

#6 Maintain a healthy savings account.

You’ll feel more confident taking more risks at work and prioritizing your family when needed when you know you have three months in savings to fall back on.

We’re in this together.

The first step in dismantling these practices is to band together and remind one another we’re not alone. For more support and togetherness, subscribe to my bimonthly newsletter The Mother Load.